Disclaimer: This blog includes sensitive content related to abuse and trauma. Reader discretion is advised. Wellspring Living is dedicated to creating a safe and supportive environment for survivors and for those who wish to better understand the impact of exploitation.
There’s a heaviness in my spirit as I write this.
Not just as a woman.
Not just as a mother.
But as a survivor.
A survivor of abuse. Of manipulation. Of power used not to protect, but to control. A survivor who understands firsthand how trauma molds your mind into survival mode and how easy it is for people on the outside to judge what they will never understand.
The recent case involving Sean “Diddy” Combs—the jury’s split verdict, his admission, and the leaked hotel footage of him assaulting Cassie Ventura—has opened the floodgates again.
Not just for media frenzy, but for the victim-shaming questions:
“Why didn’t she leave?”
“She stayed for years, she must have liked the lifestyle.”
“She knew what she was doing.”
“That’s not abuse, that’s just toxic love.”
Let me say this as clearly as I can:
Survival is not consent.
Compliance is not consent.
Silence is not consent.
We don’t talk enough about what it means to be trapped—not by chains, but by power, manipulation, fear, love, money, trauma, and yes, even hope.
Although the footage was triggering to watch, I truly feel that the responses were worse. It even led me to unfollow certain friends on social media for their responses and views on the situation. I couldn’t allow myself to be aligned with people whose views were as such. When I saw the surveillance footage of Diddy violently assaulting Cassie in that hotel hallway, I couldn’t breathe.
It was like looking in the mirror at that moment—a moment of familiarity. I knew that look, that fear. I recognized that fear. It was a replay of memories I had buried. It was a reflection of so many youth I’ve held space for—girls and boys who flinch when someone raises their hand, who apologize for their own abuse.
But then came the public response. The victim-shaming. The memes. The skepticism. And for me, and for so many survivors, that’s what hurts worse than the footage.
Because what more do you need?
By Nakita L. Williams MFT, BBM, ABA